I was talking to a friend recently and she commented on how positive I was in the midst of Laurence’s health challenges. I got off the phone and thought about her comment. I remember when I not only had a dismal view of life, but also blamed everyone else for my woes. You know that little voice in the back of the brain? Well mine is a graduate of MSU (Making Stuff Up) with a Masters degree in Worry Like You Mean It and an undergrad in Run Fast: The Other Shoe Is About To Drop.
There are days when I get caught up with taking things personally, feeling left out, experiencing my victim self and blaming myself for whatever is happening in my life. That kind of thinking depleted energy and joy out of life!
The good thing is that I don’t stay in the victim thinking very long. Through the years of practicing on the spiritual path I know I can give myself permission to have a pity party and that soon it will be over. I think about the good things I have in my life. I think of all the people praying for Laurence and for me. I recite the Serenity Prayer and a list of other prayers that lift me up. I look to see what I can learn about myself the situation. I make a list of what I can change and how to change it.
I think the most important part of this work is the willingness to live in the void. To surrender. To acknowledge that I don’t know what is next and I have no control over it. In that moment I allow my human personality (ego) to fall away and let God step in. “I of myself can do nothing. It is the Father within that does the work.”
When I live in the void I allow God’s healing power to take charge. If I can take a moment in the silence, I return to the extraordinary place of peace and harmony. Instead of planning, changing and fixing, I allow myself to just be. God has much greater plans than I can ever imagine. I just have to live in the void long enough to listen and receive. Blessings to you for a gracious month of God’s Goodness and Grace.